Part 5: Chapter V: A Sad State of Affairs (1858-1869)

Chapter V: A Sad State of Affairs (1858-1869)



Bankruptcy. It's something that happens to other people, right? Other people, those from countries that live beyond their means. Deadbeats. Remember back in the days of Good King Max when we laughed at bankruptcy? Before Ludwig II took over and chased his mad fantasies of greatness? Before the endless Anarchist occupation of Kaiserslauten turned it into a depopulated hellscape and before the failure in the Two Week War with Austria turned us into the world's laughingstock?

Yes, I once worked for the old King. You won't find me around much these days...I spend most of my time at the Walhalla honoring the greatest Bavarians of days gone by. There must be a way to bring back their glory. In the meantime, I sit here whistling that catchy Yankee tune.



John Brown's Body is a fun number, is it not? A friend of mine was an observer in the American Civil War and...but wait, you want the whole story, don't you? How Bavaria went from on top of the world to its current state? Sit down, my friend. It started back in 1858.





European power continued to grow in East Africa. As I recall, it was about then that the Dutch launched their ill-conceived invasion of the Islamic holy land of the Hedjaz. The Muslims rallied and drove off the Dutch, but still, as far as I recall that was the only failed colonial venture of the last decade.






Our army, though small in size, was of higher quality soldier for soldier than any other, save perhaps the North German. We devoted ourselves to squeezing yet more cash out of our subjects to fund such an army.




At the time, no one could understand why Britain aided Brazil in an obscure backwoods war in South America. The idea that Britain sought Latin American colonies of its own would have seemed absurd.











Our economy continued to make progress as we developed new factories and new techniques, as well as a new school of philosophy to aid scientific discovery. Shame about that Dred Scott fellow, by the way.






Austria threw off the bonds of Bavarian overlordship and proclaimed itself a Great Power once more, forcing the Ottomans out of Western Macedonia. Russia sided with Austria and we side with whomever is on Moscow's side.




Rumblings from China went unheeded. The rise of Japan, however, was very heeded indeed.




Civil War in America. There was never any real doubt about the outcome. The borders of the rebels gave cartographers fits for years, though.





Factions emulating Marx arose. Liberals retooled their message to adjust to the new climate. Good King Max didn't care...his pet Reactionaries would rule no matter what the voters said.







Only the best for our factories. I can't imagine why people would complain.



Complain they did. Apparently the state labor union wasn't good enough so King Max legalized any and all labor union, so long as it didn't espouse the poisonous rhetoric of Marx.



What fool legalized a free press, anyway?



Even at the height of the American Civil War, invading the USA would be folly, especially for a landlocked country without a navy.





Bavaria's army grew stronger.





Few mourned the passing of the Ottoman Empire, but it gave rise to a new crisis.




King Max refused the Tsar's demand that he be given a free hand dismantling the remainder of the Turkish lands in Europe, but upon Petersburg pressing the point, Munich yielded and immediately set out repairing its relations with its Russian...master?






Oh, Lincoln's invasion of Korea? It was a bold move indeed, but it paid off. The world wondered what Lincoln would do next.



Apparently the Statue of Liberty is quite beautiful. Its unveiling the very day of the Emancipation Proclamation was a savvy piece of political theater indeed.



Russian archaeologists traveled to Giza, followed by French and Dutch scholars. What lay in the mysteries of the pyramids?







New doctrines led to better factories, but also trouble with labor protests. Those pesky unions...



The Siamese are wise. They prey on travelers from landlocked lands.





The Franco-Prussian War. Yes, that was when Crown Prince (soon to be king) Ludwig hatched his devilish scheme, the one that would ruin everything. You see, despite the combined arms of Britain, NGF, and the Ottoman Empire, France and Russia proved hard nuts to crack. Well...at least France did.




Russia's line fell apart and soon there were North German and Danish soldiers in Estonia and Smolensk, but France weathered the wave of North German conscripts sent westward and soon began making progress to the east.



Dead and unmourned, the rebel banner was lowered from Richmond and Lincoln focused all his efforts on the war with Korea and China.





The Geneva Convention. Every civilized nation signed it. There were some surprises on the list of signatories.






King Max is dead, long live Ludwig II. The mad king saw an opportunity in the NGF's misfortune and prepared to launch a major assault northwards.




France overran the Germans and British. Russia wasn't as lucky.




The papers have no sense of patriotism. I don't know who leaked the warplans in their entirety to the press, but whoever it was should have been hung.




Ludwig II found himself bound by his father's promise and did not march on Kaiserslauten. Kaiserslauten is unconnected from the rest of our lands, so the mob found itself trapped, but everything of any worth in that poor town has been looted clean by now.







Our forces made the discoveries necessary to go to war.



The USA signed an annexation treaty with Hawaii as France marched to the Mediterranean.



Ugly, isn't it?



The British really need to defend that Channel.



In 1863, the day had finally come. Was it really five years ago? It feels like yesterday...we were off to such a great start before...well...you know what happened.



That concert at the Declaration of War was amazing. Say what you will about King Ludwig, he knows his music.




Nothing would ever be the same.



Austria rode on our coattails this time. We thought that they merely wanted to sphere the south Germans, but Vienna had a devious plan, the true extent of which didn't dawn on us until much later.



I was actually there at Stuttgart. The realization of how pathetic the men of Wurttemburg were reminded me of the necessity of what we were doing.



Too late, Spain.



It was then that the enormity of what was taking place struck us. An Austria that owned Wurttemburg meant that Federation was impossible. The South Germany Ludwig dreamed of could never exist except over the ashes of the Habsburg empire.



When Russia's away, the mice will play.




The end of the war with France opened up a great opportunity for our forces. Sure, we'd have to deal with the ragged remnants of the NGF force that was victorious in Russia, but we'd be able to occupy the parts of NGF that France was vacating.



The occupation of Berlin had a sour note to it as Austria annexed our neighbor.





In the critical battle of Danzig we wiped out the remnants of the NGF army, the men who had trudged back from Latvia or some godforsaken part of Russia. The NGF bastards put up a damned good fight. We have very few men in Bavaria, you realize. Even two-to-one kill ratios hurt us far more than they hurt North Germany. Nevertheless, for the time being, we had an army and they had not.



Excavating Egypt was and remains one of Ludwig's pet projects.






Tech marches on, as sure as death or taxes.



Or labor disputes, apparently.



Austria won its war against NGF and Britain. Well, we thought that meant we'd have an easy time mopping up NGF.



Then this happened.



Have you seen the Austrian army? Their troops are barely outfitted for the Napoleonic War, let alone modern warfare. Their army is outdated, incompetent, and undisciplined. It also is three times the size of ours and our army was marching around Pommerania. Surrender was the only viable option.



Ludwig loved his little projects.



Did I say little projects? I mean "bankrupting the nation to finance his vanity expedition down the Nile." Bankruptcy had been looming for months as the NGF campaign had lasted far longer than anyone expected, a result of NGF's British ally realizing that we couldn't possibly threaten them. Still, bankruptcy turned us into the laughingstock of the world overnight. It stung.







Some men turned to radical new politics, others banded together to deal with catastrophe, others prepared to backstab their countrymen and go it alone. Ludwig merely buckled down. If Bavaria was going to be ruined by this war, it was damned well going to win it.



Why did Britain summon every friend and ally of the British Empire to invade Nepal? Because Nepal was allied with Bhutan, obviously.



Filled with the spirit of expansionism, Ludwig determined that the taking of Prussia's lands in Wurttemburg, the old Hohenzollern family holding, was the only way to redeem his legacy. Meanwhile, Japan assumed its place at the increasingly misnamed Concert of Europe.



America offered to buy Alaska and Russian Columbia, but shockingly Moscow turned them down.






More factories, better factories. Bavaria had been a Great Power of Prestige once, it would be a Great Power of Industry someday.




Finally Britain conceded. The result of the war seemed hardly worth it. The land was devastated, depopulated, and had a suspiciously large number of Lithuanians.



Greece on the rise, British Empire on the retreat?



I wish they'd stop blasting so close to my chateau.





Ludwig swore vengeance on Austria. It's pointless. When we attack Austria, NGF assaults us. When we attack NGF, Austria assaults us.



In an amusing twist, the Anarcho-Liberal party of Kaiserslauten decided to march across Austrian Wurttemburg to invade Munich. The Austrian Army intercepted them and slaughtered them. Ludwig attempted to restore order to Kaiserslauten but Baden refused to let Bavarian troops through. Kaiserslauten remains under Anarcho-Liberal occupation to this day, and is increasingly filled with starvation and deprivation.




The reactionaries rose. You ask why I'm not in the Walhalla today? It's because the armed band sieging town is there today. King Ludwig is quite antsy about it all. He's bound by his predecessor to let them sack us, but he knows that doing so will ruin our prestige and our chance of ever reclaiming our seat from Japan, and though no monarch is fond of the free press or the unions or the elected Reichstag, he knows he doesn't have what it takes to be an absolute monarch. Some of the Rebels rose on top of our military, but the ones in Munich are home-free unless Ludwig is authorized to kill them.



There's a new philosophy that I've heard hints of. Ludwig wants to research something cheap and then devote all our attention to being the first patrons of this new philosophical school. I suppose that reducing the state's administrative burden is a worthy cause.



We're not the only ones with rebel problems.




Just last month, the Anarcho-Liberals overthrew NGF. Poor old Wilhelm I had to flee to London and a lot of the Hohenzollern line was decapitated. They're an unpleasant bunch. Godless philistines that only worship the Mark. I hear tale that the entirety of North Germany is ruled by fewer than three thousand capitalists and that they're all richer than Croesus. Makes you think, doesn't it?



The British are fools. The Polish cause will bring them nothing but grief.

There's a telegram...a message from our King. Ludwig the Insane sent a speech out by telegraph to everyone that matters in Bavaria. Sign of the times, eh?